Sam, You're So Dumb

I mean, if we were in a car right now, I'd tell you to get the hell out, too.

It's not because I don't love you. Clearly.

You just drive a person mad.

Hah!

Drive a person... in a car... I'm AWESOME.

It occurs to me that I'm going to be writing in your name? Not sure how I feel about that. Let's establish at the outset that I'm me and you are you and I'm definitely not you. I'll sign my posts with a "C" so we know I'm me. Or should I sign with "M" for "MOM"? Or "ME"? Already the number of decisions associated with this project are spinning. I'm getting too old for this.

Which, by the way, is totally valid, as is declaring age, experience, and wisdom assets in a conversation about whether or not you should put a cool cloth on your forehead when your mother tells you to.

(Ending with preposition painful, but don't care, because I'm all 'carefree blogging' and whatnot. Doing it over and over again. See! Scratch the 'old' thing. I'm so young and hip!)

((Just ruined it didn't I? With the 'hip' thing? Dammit!))

So, fine. We're doing this thing. I'm all over it. We're going to finally decide once and for all whether I am right (I am) or you are wrong (you are) on a host of issues that have, until now, confounded the masses. Or just our own family.

If we do this, does it mean that car rides and dinner hours will be more peaceful? I bet not, but I hope anyway.

How shall we begin? How about I give you a list of things you're wrong about and you can confess your wrongness and we'll take it from there?

1. If the planet is in jeopardy you should take an exclusive group of people to another planet because it's immoral and disgusting. AAAAAANNNNNNNGGGGGGG, wrong answer.

2. You shouldn't make your bed each morning. AAAAAANNNNNNNGGGGGGG, wrong answer.

(how do you like my 'alarm' sound? clever, huh?)

3. Chicago should be portrayed as a violent city fraught with criminality, poverty, gangs, and guns. No. Just no.

4. The dog is a dog. ((He's a hamster.))

Your turn. Fess up.

I'm excited about this. I love you. I'm so glad you write for pleasure. It makes my heart smile. Even if you are so dumb.

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